Noel Gallagher

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'What do they do in there? Whip poor people?'
02.02.2012 10:00
'What do they do in there? Whip poor people?'

Yes…

So, the gig here in Melbourne was great. (Yes, I'm still in Melbourne! They don't call this the Big Day Off for nothing.) It was at a place whose name escapes me just now, in a suburb called St. Kilda… A real saint? I think not. I mean, I'm no expert on the Bible, but when "they" forced us to study it at gunpoint at school I don't recall a St. Kilda.

The venue is most famous for having the oldest neon sign in the Southern Hemisphere!! (There's a little factoid for you.)

The gig was a bit weird to start with. It was all seated and the crowd remained so for the first three songs. It was like they were at the cinema… Now I know how the support band must've felt!

Anyway, I felt as though I must speak to these people…

"Do you HAVE to sit down?" I asked.

"NO!!" They shouted back as one.

"Well… Can you stand up, please?" I asked again, slightly annoyed.

"YISS," they replied in an Aussie accent and up they all stood… Just like that!! Now that did lead to some particularly bad dancing, I must say, but it was a price worth paying.

Wasn't much going on after the show so I legged it quick sharp.

Was up early yesterday. Went for a wander up town. Nothing to do, and all day to do it. Did pass a strange place which had a sign above the door that said, "VICTORIAN HOBBY CENTRE"?? What the fuck?? What do they do in there? Whip poor people? I was gonna go in to satisfy my curiosity but as I'm from the North they would've probably put me to work as a chimney sweep or a miner or a beggar.

Bumped into comrade Serge and another one of Kasabian, whose name I can never fucking remember. Had a bit of lunch… A mad Mexican, if you must know.

On the way back to my hotel I passed another establishment that had a sign over the door that said… "VICTORIAN DETECTIVE SERVICE"!!! What the fucking fuck?? Was there an actual Victorian detective inside? With a top hat? And a cane? And a monocle? Holding a massive magnifying glass?? I do hope so.

ONWARDS.

GD.



COMMENTS

25.02.12 02:40
St. Kilda's a chain of islands of the Scottish coast. Had a short lecture at Uni on it and it turns out that the inhabitants refused to leave right up until the forties or something despite hanging off cliffs to raid birds nests for their tea.
20.02.12 01:45
Dear Noel, there's a big chance I could be making a mistake since my knowledge of Aussie Geography is in fact quite poor. However, I was thinking: the funny names of all those places are probably related to the the state of which Melbourne's the capital city: Victoria! Therefore: Victorian Hobby Centre, Victorian Detective Centre and so on...! :)
17.02.12 14:36
Noel you are a good writer. You told us to stand up 'before' you even started. Not after the 'third song' as you say. But, I myself enjoy @#$*!ging of locals when I travel.. it is SO much fun. Especially when you visit Manchester! what a bunch a rancid fu*ks. But you know what, if I had told them to stand up fo me, I bet I would had been in emergency rather quickly! Anyhoo! Thanks for playing FUNKADELIC to your rertard aussie fans at the end of the gig. It fixed their maggot brains. And i went to CHERRY BAR after the gig to find out you couldnt be assed making an appearance
14.02.12 18:42
I promise, we'll stand up if you come to Texas!
11.02.12 14:56
Cangacero are you some sort of knob?
11.02.12 08:58
Was a great gig! Totally mental with all the sitting but hey...Thanks for a great night.
10.02.12 14:19
laughed me balls off.. '"the @#$*!ing @#$*!?" Thanks for sharing your adventures!
10.02.12 14:08
Apart from the security who keeped telling us to sit down (h&s bs), I had the time of my life! I could die tomorrow a happy man! Thank you Noel and your high flying birds! May you have many more (good) albums to come!
10.02.12 10:58
noel, come to Indonesia please... please.. please...
03.02.12 22:34
I was at the gig, up the back on the first level. In Australia, Australians are sheep. Only doing what everyone is doing and follow orders promptly. Great gig though. Loved the re-working of the oasis songs. Oh, and St Kilda is named after a boat which was named after St Kilda in Scotland. Not sure what or who St Kilda in Scotland is named after.

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