Noel Gallagher

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'We must find the shoe!!'
28.01.2012 13:00
'We must find the shoe!!'

Yes…

So, been out of the game for a couple of days AGAIN!!

Here goes… What day is it today? …Friday? Saturday? Fuck knows.

The last time we spoke I was in Sydney, right? Just getting ready for The Big Day Out?

Well… Woke up that morning and guess what? That's right, it was pissing down… I mean what IS the point of Australia while it's raining? There is no point. I'm staggered by the weather. "Oh, fuck off!" to the sky, said I.

'Twas a big day for the Aussies. Australia Day. It's a day where they celebrate all things Australian… Whatever that means. Still part of the blimmin' Empire, if you ask me, innit? Sydney Harbour was full of boats and ships. Spectacular. There was cannons going off and even a fly past by the Aussie air force (mate!)... IN THE RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a bit of a scene with the Aussie PM (some ginger Sheila). She got a bit roughed up by some protesters and had to be bundled into a car that looked like a taxi. Thing is, she lost one of her shoes!! Like Cinderella!! The news went in heavy on the protesters… (What a scandal… No… Not sandal… They didn't make it clear what style of shoe it was!!!)

By the time I got down to the festival site to continue my battle of wits with the Aussie media (mate), Kasabian had been and gone!! Heard they were good though.

My gig was really bloody good (mate). Had a pair of ladies knickers thrown on stage and a top hat!! I do hope they came from the same person!!

Legged it early the next day and arrived here in Melbourne (mate). And guess what? No… You're wrong see, because it's bloody boiling (mate). Yes sir!! The sun has got his hat on, and it's got little corks dangling round the rim!!

They still have that Jerry Springer on TV down here. Forgot how psychedelic that programme is. There was a threesome on it called… "Sha-toya" and "Jo-neesa" and a guy whose name was "Country". Mega. I laughed until it wasn't funny anymore.

So then I stopped and turned on the news. Turns out the big story building was about "the shoe".

"Where is the PM's shoe?" They asked.
"Who's got the shoe?" They pleaded.
"We must find the shoe!!".

Had a bit of a mooch around and about (didn't find the shoe). Not much going on here, but by the time I got back to the hotel THE SHOE HAD BEEN FOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was a brilliant Monty Python-esque moment were they went live to the actual shoe being handed over to the authorities by what looked like a protester…

"There you go Cinders, you shall go to the ball," I thought.

Except she didn't. She went to the tennis. To see Andy Murray lose… AGAIN!!!

ONWARDS.

GD.

PS: Dunno what all the fuss was about. The shoe was bobbins. A black suede wedge?? Not this season...(mate).



COMMENTS

26.07.12 04:24
HAHAHAH some ginger sheila lol
02.02.12 17:03
ha, ha, you crack me up eveeeeeery time, anyways, the PM's episode was hillarios, not offence to the Aussies, but I'm Chilean and living here and watching ppl's reactions and ways is just like going to a circus for me. I mean I don't celebrate Australia's day or anything, but the real fun part to me started once the PM lost her shoe and got dragged across as a doll or teddy by a lil child. There's always something I find odd or hillarious about stuff here. They called the aboriginals on the news 'an angry mob' hahahaha. I said to my husband, you're kidding right? how can they call them that? what a bunch of w*nkers' I know you'd think they carry a few extra pairs of shoes for the PM from K-mart just in case some angry mob has a go at her, right? Sadly, Murray gets his confidence down, I dunno, it's just always at the end. He fought harder this time though, I admit, but Nadal seems to intimidate him.Lucky for him, this time he didn't play against him. Looking forward to read your impressions of different countries, cultures and ppl.
30.01.12 22:22
Hey NG! I passed my album to you the other day in Melbourne traffic... here is a story on ... being a chancer mate, just as you were back in the early days... see you at the Palais tonight, Cheers! Jb.
30.01.12 20:33
Universald said you're coming to Colombia on may... is that finally true?
30.01.12 18:14
hahaha this was brilliant, I always have a nice time reading your blog :D South america (Chile is where I am , by the way) is waiting for you!! (mate)
30.01.12 17:44
I LOVE YOU
30.01.12 10:36
wondering what chanel jerry springer was wtf lol?
30.01.12 07:14
Noel, your blog is sooo funny! (mate) LOL
30.01.12 06:51
tomorrow night had better be bloody good(mate)
29.01.12 20:24
love that he knows the proper term for a wedge heel!

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